To infinity and beyond...

Yes, possibly the very worst title I could ever have used, but I am tired and suffering from man flu right now, so it's the best you'll get.

Let me preface this with a spoiler warning, I will be discussing the ending of bioshock infinite, so if you haven't finished it stop reading now.

So, having recently completed the game and it having sparked my interest once more in the many worlds interpretation of quantum physics, I felt a need to talk about it. Yes, that's right, another egocentric post where I feel my opinion matters, but I will admit that this will not be anything spectacularly original, and I'm sure theories all across the internet have many similar conclusions.

Firstly, let me just say I loved this game, it was a worthy prequel to a series that brought us various ethical implications concerning the evolution of science and technology. However, as clever as it was, the ending was rather predictable, and disappointingly created a paradox that has yet to be concluded. It's always fun to have a game end in a way that leaves it open to interpretation, it leads to discussion and debate, and everybody can create an ending that they are happy with, so I can't fault them for attempting that. I can fault them for the rather obvious non-conclusion, though, and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

I'll start with the obvious 'you are the bad guy in your own story' cliche... It was always heading that way, and they extended it to Elizabeth becoming the villain in her future too. Constants and variables, the game called it, but I prefer the quote 'those who don't learn their history are doomed to repeat it'. This worked, in theory, as a nice link between storylines and was clever... And giving so many rather blatant hints to the revelation is a good technique for making players feel insightful, which is how you get around the problem of 'we had a major plot twist in the first game that nobody saw coming, we will never manage that again so let's make this twist obvious to flatter the punters'.

The second problem with this game is the reliance on decisions, particularly early on in the game, that ultimately have no impact upon the story. I accept that that level of intricacy is difficult to achieve, particularly in a linear fps with elements of rpg and a passing acquaintance with free roaming opportunities, but if that's the case then why give us the choices? Especially when you know the theory behind the ending that I'm about to give.

Before I start on that, though, I will explain the paradox that has annoyed me enough to discuss this. Here's the big spoiler, the game ends with the revelation that another version of your character became the main antagonist in the game. Then, in order to stop him ever existing, you are taken back to a point in time when your life split to create both versions of you, and you are subsequently drowned by various incarnations of your daughter... This is all very well, and even if we ignore the fact that you are not your younger self (and therefore too late to prevent Comstock from being created), we still have the problem of you being drowned by a daughter that will not be born if you die at this point in time. It's plausible that you drowned yourself, just lay down and let the water fill your lungs, but you did so because of a revelation by a girl who ceases to exist, thusly creating the paradox that a girl who was never born tells you various possible futures that scare you into preventing the future from happening, which as paradoxes go is nor the most impossible to find a loophole for, but it's still a major plot hole.

That brings me onto the many worlds interpretation... According to that, every outcome is catered for in at least one universe/dimension, which means for every time you choose to drown yourself to prevent the future there is another you who presumably decides not to die, which is obviously the 'comstock' version of you... Now, fair enough, if you die you can't have a child which means Elizabeth isn't born and so Comstock potentially has no heir... And there's the possibility that the game developers do not believe in the many worlds interpretation, and instead subscribe to an alternative multiverse theory which allows them to limit the number of dimensions/universes so that Comstock is never born (which also brings up a paradox and questions of its very own, but I'll not get into that right now). If that is the case, then their choice of title is a problem, the 'infinite' presumably referring to the number of alternative universes.

Now, I did say I loved this game, it was highly intellectual, and on that note I'll end this with a reason why their multiverse creation was a good idea; it explains new games. The idea that there are a potentially infinite Booker DeWitts out there means that each time you start a new game it's a different character, even if you do exactly the same as you did in your first playthrough (why you would is beyond me, but I believe in the many worlds interpretation, so there must be a version of me somewhere who did just that) it's still a different version of that character. It's me reading far too much into this game, but I'd like to believe the developers at least had a similar thought while working on it.

Sorry that this wasn't as filled with jokes, sarcasm and obscure references as my previous blog posts, but I hope at least somebody found it interesting and if it got at least one person thinking them I consider that a success.

On that note I'll say it's goodnight from me, and it's goodnight from him... (see what I did there?)

I can't have kids, I still am one...

So... It's once again a ridiculous time of morning to be awake, but I can't sleep because I have too much on my mind and procrastination is my way of life... That in mind, I have a lot to do and that always sends me a little crazy.

However, one thing that has kept me wondering a lot lately is something a friend said to me. We assume different roles, and some of those require responsibility. This does not make us responsible people, just that we can be when we have to be.

I've always been interested in perspectives and how people differ in certain situations, and that has me wondering who is actually ready to be a parent? Are any of us? Or do we all simply muddle through, best we can?

Now I've met some people who are destined for the real world, they're grown up before their time and yet I cannot cope with it. I've never been much good at that sort of thing, I'm good at a lot of things, but life isn't one. My thought processes are all wrong for it.

On the other hand, I'm not a bad father, but I feel that it's a struggle, I feel like no matter how well I do it will always be in spite of who I am, rather than because of it. Now I can accept that, some people can't eat cheese, others can't dance, I can't think in the same way that the average person does, but I'm okay with it.

So if you're ever left wondering if you're cut out for life, for work, for parenthood, for this whole giant rat race, just remember, if I can do it anybody can...

Back and forth...

I did promise to submit some of my work, so here's a short story I'm particularly fond of... It's a first draft, so all critique is welcome...

Back and forth he paced. Back and forth. Stopping each time only to check the clock.
3:13.
Always 3:13. He knew it was broken, had been for weeks, but it was a habit and somehow felt comforting. A little tiny oasis of normality in a maelstrom of emotional upheaval. It didn't last.

'Yes, I'll buy the batteries. If you would only remember on your way home to check your phone it would've been ticking by now, though.'
'Thanks. And remember to enjoy yourself, okay? It's been a while since you last went out for lunch.'
'You're so patronising sometimes, why do I put up with you?'
'Somebody has to. You're just lucky, I guess'
'Oh, go away!'
'I love you too'

That was the last conversation he'd had with her. The last thing they had spoken about was batteries! He kept replaying it over in his head; at least he'd remembered to say he loved her.
He glanced up. 3:13 again.
'Well, one thing is certain, it's not 3:13.' He announced to the empty room.
He checked his pocket. Another habit; he knew his phone was now in pieces, embedded in their new tv. How long had it been since he heard the news? An hour? Half an hour? Five minutes? He had no way to be sure.

'Breaking news from Sunderland: The Lambton Worm today became the latest in a series of arson attacks on pubs in and around the city centre. Emergency services are currently at the scene, but the fire still rages on. It is unknown as of yet how many survivors there are, but an estimated 70 people were in the building at the time. We now go live to...'

Everything after that became a blur. He remembered trying to call her, but getting an answerphone. Not surprising, she drained her battery most days playing candy crush. He tried again, and again, and after the fifth time he lost it; threw the phone at the wall and missed, effectively cutting off all communication with the world.
He'd considered going out, but they'd only just moved here. Where would he go? Who could he see? It had all seemed so perfect this morning and now everything was chaos.
3:13.
He wanted to scream, to hit something, to charge off. But instead, all he did was pace. Back and forth. Back and forth.

Okay, I know it's shite, but I can't yet find the original which was much better, when I do I shall edit this to include that, combine the two and maybe finally have a story, but for now what are your thoughts?

Life in the wide world goes on, much as it has this past Age...

The only man who is truly happy is blissfully unaware of the existence of women...

With an opening line like that I'm aware I may get comments... But at least that means somebody is reading this.

After a week of what should've been rest, relaxation and no stress I think I need a holiday. I certainly enjoyed myself, but I actually feel drained... Back to work tomorrow and nothing will have changed really, which is why you cannot run from your problems, they're always waiting when you get back. The really persistent ones follow you.

Anyway, today I want to rant about the train blocking Netflix and even YouTube on their Wi-Fi, despite this being first class and the only carriage with bloody Wi-Fi in it... And why am I complaining about that? Simple: I forgot to bring a book... Actually, I didn't really forget, but the book I'm reading is currently lying at the bottom of a bag in the far wardrobe, which is blocked (ironically) by a hundred boxes of books.

I have a certain inability to organise, which can be charming, but leads to some frustrating flaws in my plans. I'm aware, too, of the fact that I may be the only person who doesn't own any ebooks, audio books, or anything to play/ read them on, but I love books. The smell of a new book, or an older book that just brings memories flooding back (scent invokes the most powerful memory connections), the awkward way you have to balance something between the pages perfectly so you can read hands free, tilting to find the tiny bit of light that barely covers a word, the whole experience is just amazing. And I understand most of these things are not good, but they make it memorable.. Who hasn't held a torch in their mouth to read the last chapter of a book during a powercut?

Anyway, nostalgia aside, books are worth more than a 5 grand tablet with no personality to it... And I will continue to believe that.

Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself...

Been a while, all too easy to forget this exists until it's 4am, you're considering an all nighter and trying to fill the big empty space where thought should be...

So... Onto business... I want to write again, which is annoying because I know that within me lies the potential for several short stories, a series of books, several hours worth of stand up comedy and a few thousand deeply sarcastic, slightly misanthropic and fairly insightful blog posts/ newspaper columns. But knowledge needs to be put to use, otherwise it is pointless, and therein lies the problem; I can write, I choose not to.

Which leads to a very fascinating topic: choices. Regrets. I've had a few. But then again, too few to mention... We all regret something, and many of us live in the notion that we like who we are at least a little or else we'd change; and as you know, we are the sum of our experiences, they have shaped us into what stares back at you from the bathroom mirror on a daily basis (unless you're really weird and have a mirror with a pattern, you're not a butterfly)

Ultimately, however, we live the life we choose to lead, and where circumstance dictates that we should do this, it doesn't make it an inevitability. You've got no money if you move out of your parents house, but you want to leave this city and explore the world... It might not be the best, the smartest or even the most viable option, but you'd still have the option to leave... Don't waste your life with excuses, you can leave without a penny and walk, hitchhike, earn your keep elsewhere, sleep rough, etc. You want out then save up or just fucking go, it's that simple...

Anyway, I don't mean to preach, so I'll leave you with my conclusion when wondering 'what if...?'

Could I be a world class writer if I'd stuck at it longer? Could I be studying for my masters degree right now if I'd made the effort with uni? Would I know heartache and pain and loss, and would I know love and would I have a son? I believe that every possible outcome actually happens in an alternate version of our timeline, so speculating about these is redundant, but did I make the right decisions in life for me? Most certainly, and that's a very good thought to leave you with...

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television...

Briefly having checked my old blog I've discovered something I used to do which I quite enjoyed, and I did get some good feedback from it too... So, without any further hesitation, here's another well revised advert breakdown:

Shiva

New pouches, mini pouches, and I quote; 'for that freshly opened taste every time'...  Do cats really need that? Honestly? Have there been complaints from cats and their owners about slightly stale tasting food? And if so, why have these people been targeted for a new product instead of sectioned for eating cat food and believing they are doctor Doolittle?

Sommersby cider

At first I liked this ad, it was a fun little social commentary, but after a while it has just begun to annoy me... However, part of what annoys me is what happens with a lot of adverts, every second it runs costs a small fortune for the company, and so once the original week is over the ad is shortened to the bare bones, which means losing most of the best jokes.

Now is a good time

I can't remember which cider this was for, but it was a fantastic advert, with a brilliant massage... And it actually made me want a drink in a pub on a nice day surrounded by good mates, and not many ads actually make you want the product, so I think that was perfect

I think I'll leave it there for now, I'll remember more once this is published, I will probably get around to posting more soon enough, enjoy and, as always...

See you when I see you

May you live in interesting times...

Hello faithful readers, both the extremely bored and the exceptionally lost.

I'd like to start by explaining the title, it's an ancient Chinese curse - may you live in interesting times, and may you find what you are looking for. Pretty self explanatory, no hidden meanings or subterfuge, just somebody cursing you to perceived bliss, unusual for me, I know.

Yet it leads to the most interesting question: what do you want from life? What do you really want? What do you think you want?

I am often fickle, I continually look back at what was with rose tinted glasses, convinced I'm missing out because I made the wrong decision... There's another more recent saying that I'm about to butcher here, that states the grass is always greener elsewhere because there is so much shit there...

However, as human beings, we're programmed to be fickle, there is so much choice these days that we will always feel like we're missing out on something, and I doubt anybody knows what they really want out of life...

Mine is actually a very interesting life, both a blessing and a curse. There are many people who care a great deal about me, I have good friends, family, colleagues, I get to hang out in pubs, play pool, drink whiskey, smoke cigars... And I have a son... And a job I like, I have a passion for... These are things many people would kill to have, I've known love, I've experienced quite a bit for only being 23... My life pretty much rocks, although it has a lot of drawbacks... One of which is slight anxiety, I've been hyperventilating all day, not ideal, but if that's the worst that happens this week I'll still be bloody lucky....

See you when I see you...