Been a while, all too easy to forget this exists until it's 4am, you're considering an all nighter and trying to fill the big empty space where thought should be...
So... Onto business... I want to write again, which is annoying because I know that within me lies the potential for several short stories, a series of books, several hours worth of stand up comedy and a few thousand deeply sarcastic, slightly misanthropic and fairly insightful blog posts/ newspaper columns. But knowledge needs to be put to use, otherwise it is pointless, and therein lies the problem; I can write, I choose not to.
Which leads to a very fascinating topic: choices. Regrets. I've had a few. But then again, too few to mention... We all regret something, and many of us live in the notion that we like who we are at least a little or else we'd change; and as you know, we are the sum of our experiences, they have shaped us into what stares back at you from the bathroom mirror on a daily basis (unless you're really weird and have a mirror with a pattern, you're not a butterfly)
Ultimately, however, we live the life we choose to lead, and where circumstance dictates that we should do this, it doesn't make it an inevitability. You've got no money if you move out of your parents house, but you want to leave this city and explore the world... It might not be the best, the smartest or even the most viable option, but you'd still have the option to leave... Don't waste your life with excuses, you can leave without a penny and walk, hitchhike, earn your keep elsewhere, sleep rough, etc. You want out then save up or just fucking go, it's that simple...
Anyway, I don't mean to preach, so I'll leave you with my conclusion when wondering 'what if...?'
Could I be a world class writer if I'd stuck at it longer? Could I be studying for my masters degree right now if I'd made the effort with uni? Would I know heartache and pain and loss, and would I know love and would I have a son? I believe that every possible outcome actually happens in an alternate version of our timeline, so speculating about these is redundant, but did I make the right decisions in life for me? Most certainly, and that's a very good thought to leave you with...
